bag·man (băg’mәn) n., pl. –men (mĭn). 1. Slang.

dishonest official; a person who collects, carries, or distributes illegal payoff money.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Ten Reasons The Bagman is not Batman

Recently a reviewer (who missed a few details about the book to begin with) said Mac was "just like Batman." Needless to say we were worried about this, but luckily Mac couldn't purchase a time machine to exact his revenge. So, instead, I figured I'd let him answer that accusation.

TEN REASONS I AIN'T BATMAN
by Mac McCullough

1. "I shoot people."

2. "I commit crimes, and steal money from the mob."

3. "I'm not a millionaire, I work for a living."

4. "Batman has no sense of humor."

5. "I don't wear women's clothing.(1937, we're talking leotards here.)I don't play dress up, and capes are for the opera."

6. "In my neighborhood, Bruce Wayne would be killed and fed to the weak."

7. "Ten bucks says I have a better arm and batting average on the sandlot."

8. "Bats? Get real! Who's afraid of bats? You ever seen a fruit bat eat? They're like adorable little kids with skin under their arms, cute li'l fuzzy critters. Bullets, now that's something to be scared of."

9. "I must've missed that episode where Batman dropped 300 bucks betting on a horse."

10. "Costumes? C'mon... A mask, maybe. But
costumes...? I think it was Raymond Chandler, said something to the effect of, "Men don't worry about their looks, just pansies." Mind you, I'm paraphrasing there, but... Batman? Jeez! Did you even read the book?"

[And since #10 was a lot like #5, we leave you with:]
11. "Butler? A butler? Bwahahahahahaha..." [Mac exits, laughing.]

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